I need to get my Ass in gear and not eat a whole pan of brownies in 3 days!

I seriously need to do something about this whole fat madness thing that has taken over my ass, thighs and belly!!!  Seriously....what the hell is it and why does it need to attach itself to me.  I did not welcome this fat with wide open arms (which has also been taken over and if I opened them wide enough and started flapping I would probably take off)!!! 
I just can't seem to get myself motivated.  Everyday I say... this is the day...this is the day that I plan better meals....this is the day that I don't eat a whole 9x9 pan of brownies just because they are sitting there and seriously why the hell didn't Justin eat more of them.....this is the day that I get my ass to do some kind of physical activity....this is the day that I get my fat ass into gear!!!  
Reality....I just need to do it!!   It's all about self discipline...which I completely lack at the moment....but it is something I strive for....more discipline....yet I find this whole "discipline" thing pretty sucky.  I love food and I love NOT working out....well thats not totally true, once I get going and get into the grove of it I'm great but as soon as I start slipping then all hell breaks loose on my ass!   Baby steps people....baby steps!  Otherwise I'm just going to whack that shit right off soon!  
I'm ready to say good bye to my fat thighs that rub together ( I will probably pee  the day that I can see light through those suckers) and say adios to the bat wings....that shit seriously needs to go!!!
What the hell do you all do to keep yourself motivated?  What are some of your tricks?  What are some go to recipes and snacks?  What are some easy quick workouts?  I need all the f'ing help I can get!!!  I need to get my ass into a two piece at the end of January for some Jamaica time!!!!

I'm probably an Asshole but seriously WTF

So.....I've been going through a bunch of Mees stuff because my sister decided to have a garage sale and well....Mees has a lot of shit.  I don't want to get rid of everything because we are planning on having another monster and if it's a girl (God help Justin) it would be nice to still have some stuff!  Although I know I'll end up getting all new shit anyway...what can I say....I like to shop!
Ok...so....I was going through her stuff and I came upon this "stuff" that I got at one of my showers.  Now I love hand made stuff...I think it's amazing what people can make and the time that is spent doing it. 
But seriously What the Fuck???

Everytime I look at it I pee a little. When I first got it I didn't know what the hell it was.  It was one of those things that you go Oh, wow, I....love it.....thank you so much....oh and it also has matching mittens and booties.
Now I told you I was an Asshole....because I know the lady who made this worked her ass off and put a lot of love into it and I truly do appreciate it. But when you aren't sure what the hell it is and your daughter is swatting at the shit that's shooting out the top of it like a crazy lady swatting at the "bugs" flying around her head, you know she's probably not going to want it on for very long!

She actually does look like a crazy lady!!!  But a very very cute crazy lady!!!

Mommy and Me Monday

So it has been disgustingly hot and humid here the last week or so, so we haven't done a whole lot outside since you are instantly suffocated when walking out the door. 
Saturday we were at Deb's for Joey's surprise Golden Birthday Party and it was still fricken hotter than hell but we were under the canopy thingy on the patio so it at least blocked the sun!!! 
Here's a nasty sweaty picture of Me and Miss Mia....she's obviously not nasty and sweaty but mama sure is.  But that's ok....we've gotta take the good with the fugly....right???  And these pics are not nearly as bad as the mullet ones that I promise I will post.....why not embarrass myself....who cares right???

My fantabulous random randomness

I thought I would totally switch that title up....completely different huh???  I knew you would like it!!  I actually enjoy these random posts....it's not because I'm lazy....well I am lazy but I love doing these posts!!  

* Super stoked that Eclipse is coming out next week!!!  B and I are going to see it next weekend I think.  It's kinda our thing...we went to the first two in the theater together and so obviously we will be going to this one.  If she tried to ditch me...well....I would probably kick her in her biscuit!!!
* DO NOT...I repeat, DO NOT stop taking your anxiety medication without talking to your doctor first.....end result is a WHOLE truck load of crazy!!!!
* Note to self:  Do not make brownies anymore.....I just wanted one and figured Justin would eat them up....well he didn't and....yeah the whole flippin pan is gone and I'm pretty sure that I ate that shit up...in 3 days!!
* I had a bitchen mullet for like 3 years growing up!!!  From about the age of 5-7 I was pretty fugly.....not only was it a mullet but it was a f'in permed mullet.  Maybe, just maybe, I'll do a post on just how unfortunate looking I was at that age!!!  It'll be a good laugh!......Seriously though....permed mullet people!!!
* The phrase "Brown Chicken Brown Cow" makes me giggle!!!  And then it gets stuck in my head and then it sounds like I'm singing cheesy porn music!!  Do it.....say it!!!  It's kinda funny!!!  And then later...ask your hubs if he wants a little Brown Chicken Brown Cow and see what he says???  It could turn into a FUN night!
* Justin passed his Journeyman's test....we just got the results the other day!!!  I'm so proud of him and excited for him!!!  He worked his ass off and totaly deserves it......plus....that means that Nikki gets to go shopping!!!!  Holla.....yeah I just said Holla!!!!

Happy Friday All!!!

Wordless Wednesdays.....Sort of!

This little girl LOVES the water!!!  She loves bath time and if we let her.... she would sit in there for hours and completely flood our entire house or get a small case of hypothermia!!

We were out at the house this last weekend (before she came down with an ear infection and some kind of bronchial infection)  so I decided to give her a sink bath so I didn't have to worry about it when we got home!!!  You can only imagine the massive amounts of water on the floor of mom and dad's kitchen!  She might be the cutest thing EVER!!!!  I sorta like her....just a little!!!

You know it's a good night when you walk out of the porta potty with soap on your boob!!

Last Saturday Justin and I were lucky enough to partake in some adult activities.....it was a family wedding on Justin's side....in other words there were no cops, cuffs and mace....if you're wondering what the hell that means you'll have to check out white trash wedding!!  Anyway, we had a blast!!  It was a beautiful outdoor backyard bbq.....I was pleasantly surprised as to how beautiful a backyard wedding could be! 

This is the first picture in forever that Justin and I have taken together that doesn't show drool and dried crusty snot on our shoulders!!! It's been forever since we've had a nice photo.....on a side note....my sisters are reading this and probably wanting to punch the shit out me because they think that all Justin and I do is take pictures of ourselves and they are totally bitching that we have like a gagillion photos of us.  Which is completely NOT true! We just think that pictures are so much better when we are in them!!!!  Kidding....totally kinda kidding!!!

They had a signature drink that the bride made...it was spiked blueberry lavendar lemonade....yeah it was pretty f'in tasty!! I only had one of those for fear that I would not be coherent enough to be able to care for my daughter the next morning....so I switched to beer....much better when needing to care for an 8 month old the next day...much better! They had a band that was kinda swing/jazz/blues/you can't really dance to this shit unless you've taken lessons kind of music. They were really good but couldn't really bust a move out on the dance floor....I could have probably made an ass of myself had I had like 7 more beers but instead we just stood in the background and made fun of the aunts marching in place trying to pretend that they could actually dance to that kind of music.  It was a whole lot of legs twists and jazz hands!! 
And then there were the porta pottys....these weren't your ordinary porta pottys....these were some classy fuckin porta pottys.  I was totally confused by them.  Who knew that porta pottys had a flusher and actual soap and some running water that you had to pump with your foot??  Yeah I didn't know any of this....I thought the soap was hand sanitizer as did my Stacy.  So naturally we were using this soap as hand sanitizer.  Drunk dumb ass me couldn't figure out why my hands felt so nasty and slimy and then when we saw the white soap all over Stacy's boob we realized that in fact we were drunk asses!!! 
It was a fun night with lots of laughs and I was grateful that Justin and I got to go out.  The funny thing was though that by the end of the night the conversations turned into poop stories, birth stories and the fact that my husband compared my episiotomy to sorta kinda like "gutting deer".....yeah...he had too many and there was a possibility that I may have slapped the shit out of him....hey, it wasn't father's day yet! 

A little bit of sappy shit for Father's Day

When I married Justin I knew that I couldn't imagine my life without him.  I knew that we were going to have to work our asses off at our marriage and work our asses off to create the life that we had always talked and dreamt about.   In the midst of working our asses off  I didn't realize that my heart could love someone more and more with each and every day.

Justin was the first one to see Mia as she entered into this big scary ass world and at that moment when I saw his face I knew that we were in the right place at the right time and I couldn't have imagined being anywhere else (except for the fact that I thought my ass was exploding and I didn't know that it would ever feel "normal" again down there...I could have totally done without that). 

Again, I didn't know it was possible to love a man more but when I saw him hold Mia for the first time and I saw the overwhelming amount of awe and love and complete adoration he had for this tiny little girl my heart felt like it was going to burst.

Over the last 8 months, I watch him....I watch him when he doesn't think I'm looking (not in a creepy stalker kinda way) and I see this big strong man playing peek-a-boo and making crazy ass faces and holding her little girl hands and changing her diaper and picking out mismatched clothes and I feel completely at home. I feel that for this moment we are complete and I feel blessed an honored that he is my husband and the father of my daughter. He is our rock and I love him more than I could ever put into words.

Happy Fathers Day Love!!!

Random Randomness on this Random ass Friday

I've been lacking in the whole content aspect of this here blog lately.  There has been some things going on that I'm sure I will enlighten you all with later but for now I'm just gonna be my random self because...well....frankly....thats all I got!!!

* I think that people over the age of 70 should be required to retake their drivers test.....I'm sorry but there are some scary ass old broads out there who should really think twice before getting behind the wheel.  There is a possibility that one of these said scary ass old broads totally gets bitch slapped.....by me!!! 

* Just bought season 4 of Weeds!!!  Pretty pumped to watch it....I'm only like 3 seasons and 3 years behind....I don't even know if I remember the first 3?? 

* Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see??  Can totally SUCK IT!!!  We need to find Miss Mia a new favorite book!!!

* I've been totally obsessed with turkey and avocado sandwiches lately.....had one for dinner and could probably eat another one right now!

* Why is it that when one thing in your life isn't going the greatest everything else decides to go to shit too??  Just wondering?

* I could totally go for a pie shake from Betty's Pies!!!  Oh dear lord are they good!!!

Happy Friday!!!!

Wordless Wednesday....Sort of!

It's been one of those days....thats all I'm going to say about that shit!!!  The pictures below made me smile so hopefully they will do the same for you!!!  Guess who the pics are of?????   Oh my god....Mia!!!!! 

P.S.  She has been a complete monster lately and is in to everything and has some serious attitude issues....where does she get this you ask.....not really fuckin sure!!!! 

She seriously cracks me up! As you can see there is a whole lot of beast in this little girl!!!

Things Change

As I've gotten older and started my own family my life has obviously changed in many many ways. The majority of all these changes have all been fabulous and welcomed with open arms and an open heart. I've gained an amazing husband and a home and have created the most fabulous little being of all...my little Mees! 

Although I've embraced all of these changes.... there are some that still make me a little sad.  I feel as though I have become completely disconnected with my close group of girlfriends.  It's so hard now to find the time to get together....we all have families, we all have different priorities.  I sometimes feel like I don't have that bond anymore with them that I wish so badly to have back.  I miss the closeness, I miss the phone calls and I miss the nights out gabbing about anything and everything.  (I don't miss being a total mess the next morning but an occasional jag bomb here and there wouldn't be so bad!!!).  Sometimes it just feels like I've fallen off the face of the earth and I'm totally out of the loop.  It sucks when you hear about something that is going on only to find out after the fact.....peoples lives nowadays are just so crazy busy....and I'm totally guilty of not taking the time to slow down and pay attention!!  I truly miss them.....

On the flip side of all of this I've come to realize that family IS my priority.  I wouldn't give them up for anything.  I love that I hang out with my sisters and B all the time.  I love spending time with the hubs.  I love that Mia gets to play with Carter and Belle all the time.  I love that we all hang out at the house all the time.  I want my munchkin to have those kind of memories....the memories that families create. 

I do know that I will always love my girls no matter if we talk or see each other on a regular basis.  Things may change and we may eventually grow apart but they are people that I will never forget and have had a hand in shaping the person that I am today!! 

Mommy and Me Monday

I've pretty much been sucking in the photo taking department lately....only a few photos a day....I know, I know, how dare I not blind my child every chance I get!!!

These mommy and me photos are of us just hanging like we usually do!!!

Mees looks like she wants absolutely nothing to do with this whole situation and I look like I may have gotten caught in a fricken wind storm.....seriously...what's up with my hair??? I kinda look like the crazy lady with the baby!!


Happy Monday all!!!!

Hosted by Krystyn

Busy Busy Busy

I feel like I haven't written shit for the last couple of weeks.  There hasn't been any substance to anything that I've said....not that there really was before and I'm sure that won't be changing anytime in the near future either.  This post is no different....so don't get too excited!

We've been talking about all the stuff that we have going on in the next few months.....and let me tell you....it's a tad bit crazy!!!  I like to be busy and have stuff going on but holy shit we are on serious overload!  I know you are all dying to hear about the fun and exciting and crazy things we have going on.....Let me tell ya:

June:  Dad's birthday, brother's birthday, Father's Day, brother-in-laws golden birthday, cousin's wedding, sister and brother-in-laws anniversary
July:  Brother-in-laws birthday, neice's golden birthday, cousin's baby shower, planning a weekend getaway with the hubs and the babe
August:  MY birthday!!!, possible trip to St. Louis
September:  Mom and dad's anniversary, sister's birthday, Hubby's 30th birthday, sister's bridal shower
October:  Mia's 1st birthday, sister's bachelorette party, more bridal showers
November:   Holiday's start, Little sissy's wedding, sister-in-law's wedding stuff starting (bridal showers,etc)
December:  More Holidays, Timmy's birthday, bridal stuff for Beck
January:  JAMAICA!!!  for Becky and Jake's wedding!!

And this is just what we have on the calendar as of now!!  At least all of the stuff that we have going on is all fun stuff and things I'm totally looking forward to.  It just makes the summer fly by though! 

Let me add to all of this too....just found out that Justin starts working 3rd shift on Wednesday.  And by 3rd shift I mean 6:30pm to 2am Tuesday thru Saturday.  What kind of fuckin shift is that??  I spent the entire night on Thursday sobbing....I'm pretty much going to be a single mother for like 2 months.  I'm greatful that he has a job and is making money but it just sucks some big ass!  All of our weekend plans are sort of thrown out the window now.  Stupid ass economy!!! 

Random Randomness

Here we go again....my random prozac vodka loving mind is at it again!!!

* I fricken HATE word verification.....what the hell is it and why is it necessary???  Just wondering.

* You know how about a week ago or so I said that I ordered Mees' some more leggings?  Well I'm pretty sure that I'm online ordering more and adding some headbands to that order!  They should seriously give me some shit for free....I think I've ordered EVERYTHING they make!!!

* I'm probably like the BEST wife EVER!!!  Hubs got his father's day gift early....yeah...he got a new sweet ass pair of Oakley's!  Told ya I was fricken awesome.  Never would I have thought that I would spend that much money on a pair of fuckin sunglasses but he reminded me that I buy purses (although... most of my Coach purses are bought at the outlet store where they are last seasons styles and less spendy....but no need to get into the logistics of it all....and I reminded him that I carry a purse everyday....you only wear sunglasses when it's sunny unless you are one of those douche holes that think it's always bright in your world and wear them all the time!!) and honestly he is a fabulous husband and the best dad so he totally deserves it!!

* Apparently I'm not as cool as I thought.....I lost 2 of my followers.....it almost makes me sad a little.  Did I offend them with my not so lady like language???  Oh....fuck it!!!

* There are a lot of times that I go to write something on this here blog and then I get here and  totally forget what the hell I was going to write.....that's why I just wrote this because I can't remember what the hell I was going to write!!!!

* I want to punch the shit out of Heidi and Spencer.....just saw somethin on tv about them and wanted to chuck the remote at it but then I thought that the hubs probably wouldn't like that too much!

* I think I would rather have flawless skin than a perfectly thin body....actually in a perfect world I would prefer both but I'm trying to not be too selfish!

* I'm going to be 29 in August and I have to dye my hair because there are grays....yeah thats right...grays.....I got two words for the grays....SUCK IT!!!

* Sometimes I get a teeny tiny urge to cut a bitch or throat punch someone.....I'm really not violent but some people are just dumb asses and totally deserve a good ass whoopin!!

* Cancer can KISS MY ASS!!!  I HATE IT!!!!  Thats all I have to say about that!!!

Thats all of my ramblings for now!!!  Loves!!!

Wordless Wednesday....Sort of

So... I'm lazy and can't come up with a clever post to save my life so...weird....another picture post!!!   So as I'm going through all the gazillion photos on my computer trying to find a good one I've decided to NOT post a pic of Mees today.  I've decided to post a pic of another one of my most favorite gals......B (that would be Sabrina for those of you who don't know her as B....my beautiful lovely neice.....who by the way would totally get bitch slapped if she called me Antie.....thats just not how we roll)

This was our lumberjack day out at the house and for some reason this fricken photo fricken cracks me up!!! I seriously don't know what the hell she is doing....totally fake jammin out to absolutley nothing (there is no noise coming out of those things...they are earmuff thingys....I don't know what the hell they are called)!!!
 
B....you are one special special little lady!!!  Love ya!!!

8 whole big months old!!!

Where do I begin Lou Lou.......you are one crazy ass little gal who entertains us daily!!!!  Just like last month this month has flown by way too fast.  It seems like I just wrote your 7th month post and here I am writing the 8th month.....SLOW DOWN.  Time obviously does not listen to your mother.....I should just get used to not being listened to!!!!
It's amazing at this age to watch you develop and do it soooo quickly.  We are definitely seeing your personality start to shine through.  Most days you are a fricken riot and then there are those days where you are completely bipolar and a total ass hole.  I'm not going to sugar coat things and pretend that we have the most well behaved, angelic, happy little lady.  There are times when you make mommy want to rip ALL her hair out!!

This here picture above is your new smile!  It's fricken hilarious.....you see the red light on the camera and we tell you to smile and this is what happens.  I LOVE IT!!!!

* You have mastered the army crawl and don't stop moving!!!  You are moments away from totally crawling....you just haven't quite figured out the whole moving of the knees and the hands in the right order!  You are also trying to pull yourself up onto things now.  You are EVERYWHERE!!

* You are starting to figure out how to feed yourself. You are getting pretty good at getting your puffs in your mouth by yourself and you do a pretty good job at holding your own bottle.

* You are obsessed with the water.  You love bath time and you love the pool.  If we would let you, you would sit and splash until you were blue around the mouth!  We took you to Antie Becky's and Uncle Jake's pool last weekend and you played and played and played for hours!! 

* You sorta give kisses.....big wide ass open mouth drool filled wet slobbery kisses.  It doesn't happen very often....and it has to be on your terms!

* You've started having a little bit of separation anxiety.  And when I say a little I mean sometimes we can't even walk away to pee and you'd think someone ripped your arm off!  Yet when we drop you off at Stacy's you are totally fine!  I can't blame ya though....I would totally want to be around your dad and I too!!!  We are pretty f'ing cool!!!!

* You are starting to mimic us....we can make sounds or noises and you copy them back to us.  You have a crazy fake laugh that makes us laugh which in turn makes you laugh again!!  We are just funny I guess!

* You get ridiculously excited to see Carter and Elle.  The second they are in your eye site you completely freak out and if we don't let you near them immediately you get pissed!!!

* You have ZERO patience.....I'll just leave it at that!

* You hate having your face wiped or touched or anything.....I'm pretty sure that one of these days you are going to sock me right in the jaw!!  I know I probably deserve it but I can't stand crusty face or nose!

* You LOVE outside and have a thing for balls...footballs, baseballs, soccer balls, volleyballs, you name a ball....you love it!!!

* This last month you have turned into a little bit of a mama's girl.  Which is completely fine with me....because I know it probably won't last very long! 

* Your favorite book is Brown Bear Brown Bear.  Not sure how much more Brown Bear mommy can read before I chuck that shit out the window!

* You still look exactly like your dad!  Me....not so much!

Happy 8 months baby girl!!!  Looking forward to the next one!!! 

Shits and Giggles!!!

Remember when I said that Justin and I are pretty f'ing cool??  Well it turns out that I AM pretty fuckin cool!!!  Justin....sorta..... but I'm just a little more than he is!!! 

I got an email from one of my most favoritist bloggy peeps this afternoon.  Ericka.... the fabulous lady over at alabaster cow.  I LOVE her blog, she doesn't sugar coat shit and she likes to say "shit" and all of those other fun words that I tend to use every once in a while!!!  She's just plain hilarious!!  Another bad ass motha!!

I'm her featured shits and giggles blogger today!!!  She wrote up an awesome post about My Fantabulous Wonderful Life and I couldn't be more excited about it!!! 
If you aren't a follower of Ericka yet...totally go check out her blog!!!  It's well worth it!!

The NEW smile!!!!

Mia's new thing as of this last week is her new smile!!!!  This girl is a fricken hoot!  I have no idea where the hell she got this from but she just started doing it and it might be one of the funniest things I've ever seen.  Thats why I obviously have to share it with all of you!!!

Nervous Nelly Friday!

I got an email last week from one of my most favorite bloggers Michelle at So Wonderful, So Marvelous, she asked me if I...yeah thats right me....Nikki....would be a guest blogger over at her house!!!  Of course I said yes but then wondered why the hell she wanted me.  I mean.... I know I'm sorta cool and all but really.... I'm not...AT ALL!!!!  I'm actually a little nervous!  I hope her readers like what they read!!  And then I wondered.....what the hell am I going to guest blog about??  I don't even know what the hell I'm writing on my own blog!  So I decided to share a little bit about myself and share a delicious cocktail recipe that I got from a friend!!!  It's summer....everyone needs cocktails....right???  Right!!!!! 
So head on over to Michelle's place and check out her fabulous blog!!!  She is amazingly fun and honest and totally speaks her mind and is pretty damn funny if ya ask me!!!! 
Happy Friday everyone!!!  Have a great weekend!!!

The best old guy EVER!!!!

Today is not going to be a super long post nor will I shove my childs adorably precious squeezable little cheeks in your face again (ya'll just wait for this weekend though when I post the quick video of her smiling on command....it's f'in captivating!!!!  Don't worry....you will get your Mia fix at some point.) 

Today is simple.....Happy Birthday Dad!!!!  I love you and think that you are the most wonderful and amazing father and I feel blessed to be able to call you dad!!  I wouldn't be the woman I am today if it weren't for you.  There are times....ok all the time....when you don't stop talking, mostly about your girls but I realize it's only because you love us and are proud of us.  And I truly wouldn't have it any other way!  Sometimes, I do wonder how you can be so proud of us because we are all extremely innappropriate and not at all very lady like and would pretty much beat the shit out of anyone who messes with us (well Natalie will beat the shit out of them and Deb, B and I would just yell like bad ass mothas) but I guess that totally makes us who we are and you STILL love us!!!!

I love ya dude!!!! 

Wordless Wednesdays.....Sort of!

As you all may know I pretty much blind my child every chance I get!!  She was born with a camera in her face and there is a good possibility that she will develop some kind of something from it.  As of now....I don't give a shit because she is too damn cute to not take pictures of!!!!
She is used to having that annoying big black thing in her face so she now makes faces AT it.....she sees the red light of the flash and all of a sudden she gets this look on her face....it's a smile but it's a cheesy ass smile for the camera....it's fricken adorable!!!  Just ask me...I'll tell ya!! 

I seriously can't get enough of this girl!!!

Diva Bitch

Not sure if anyone else has experienced this or not but my almost 8 month year old thinks she is oh...I don't know.....14 already!!!  She totally has a mind of her own and is already giving her father and I a run for our money!!  And yes...I do know that this is only the beginning but she's my first so it's all so new...and scary....but fun!!!
This girl is fast, strong and determined!!!  Changing her diaper and clothes now is like trying to contain a psychotic cat that has severe anxiety issues.  It's fricken impossible!  It takes the two of us to do it quickly, we've actually begun to master putting diapers on her while she is laying on her stomach and writhing around like a crazy lady!!!  It takes a special and talented person to do these things!!!  And yes, I do realize that it's sorta sad that it takes the two of us to tame a little person but shes got some serious muscle and can totally take us out!!!
I should also realize by now that it's pointless to buy her toys.....she doesn't want that shit....she wants our cell phones, the laptop, our keys, paper, napkins, you name it she wants it and she wants it in her mouth and if you take it away from her....God help you and the wrath that you will receive!!  You better have something better REAL fast to give her in exchange!

I really am amazed though the new things that she does on a daily basis!!  It's the most amazing thing to watch your baby grow and watch her diva bitch personality develop!!!  Justin is soooo happy that she is so much like her mama (sense the sarcasm!!!) 
Oh and P.S.  Pretty sure she is saying Mama!!!  I at least hear it!!!  Maybe I'm crazy!  Wait...I am crazy...oh well...she likes me the best!!!!