As I've gotten older and started my own family my life has obviously changed in many many ways. The majority of all these changes have all been fabulous and welcomed with open arms and an open heart. I've gained an amazing husband and a home and have created the most fabulous little being of all...my little Mees!
Although I've embraced all of these changes.... there are some that still make me a little sad. I feel as though I have become completely disconnected with my close group of girlfriends. It's so hard now to find the time to get together....we all have families, we all have different priorities. I sometimes feel like I don't have that bond anymore with them that I wish so badly to have back. I miss the closeness, I miss the phone calls and I miss the nights out gabbing about anything and everything. (I don't miss being a total mess the next morning but an occasional jag bomb here and there wouldn't be so bad!!!). Sometimes it just feels like I've fallen off the face of the earth and I'm totally out of the loop. It sucks when you hear about something that is going on only to find out after the fact.....peoples lives nowadays are just so crazy busy....and I'm totally guilty of not taking the time to slow down and pay attention!! I truly miss them.....
On the flip side of all of this I've come to realize that family IS my priority. I wouldn't give them up for anything. I love that I hang out with my sisters and B all the time. I love spending time with the hubs. I love that Mia gets to play with Carter and Belle all the time. I love that we all hang out at the house all the time. I want my munchkin to have those kind of memories....the memories that families create.
I do know that I will always love my girls no matter if we talk or see each other on a regular basis. Things may change and we may eventually grow apart but they are people that I will never forget and have had a hand in shaping the person that I am today!!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
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gosh, do I know what you mean!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a good post! It is so hard to find that good balance between friends and your family!
ReplyDeleteAmen sista!!! we have moved so many times, and my friends are scattered all over the globe ( which bites). The great friends will still be there when you are able to get out for a Moms night out and they will totally understand.On the flip side, you are so lucky to have your family near you. My sisters and brothers are all a couple hours away and we don't get to see each other near enough, either. Wow! My life sounds sorta depressing in print:(LOL Anyways, my point being you are not alone. An idea, there is always IM ing or chating over a glass of wine ( or an occasional Jag bomb) after Ms.Mia goes to sleep.My girlfriends and I have done that on occasion and it is fun and on occasion has even evolved into a full on three way phone call. Actual voices and everything:)LOL Chin up Nikki. It's lonely at the top:) Hugs!
ReplyDeleteYou know what though? Your little one will get older, and you'll be able to have more freedom eventually. : ) It IS hard to find a balance (and I would hate if my Starbucks date with my girlfriend ended... But we have to make that time with the kiddos there. The baristas know our kids by first name now : ), but you sound like you're doing a good job of it. Doesn't make it any easier though, I know : /
ReplyDeleteIt's just the ebb and flow of life *hugs*!
I know EXACTLY what you mean! My girlfriends who have kids that are older are just at a different place in their lives than I am. I have a few girlfriends that have young babies or kids, and I've grown closer to them. And it's great when everybody is on the same page and understand the priorities in everybody's lives.
ReplyDeleteI get FOMO too (the fear of missing out lol) but then I have to take a second and remember that a lot of people are missing out on what I have and it makes me feel better!
ReplyDeleteYes as we get older our lives change and some of our friends change too. But staying in touch with friends is so easy now with all the technology out there. It may not be the same as going out with the gals, but you can stay in touch and know what is going on with the lovely computer. A blog is a great way! Have a great night!
ReplyDeleteMama Hen
I totally understand girl. It's sad it happens but it does. Life changes happen but you will always be friends no mater what. xoxo
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone. Amazing how things can change and how the continue to change. I think about and am going through the same thoughts and feelings about my girlfriends. It's even harder when they are in a different time of life that we are. Not a bad thing, but just a change that is not always easy to work out.
ReplyDeleteYour thoughts about your priorities are right on the money though...I totally wanted to say "word" out loud :)
I think I might be out of my bloggy funk that I was in...I've finally caught up!!!
Being a good friend takes work. You get out of it what you put into it, just like any realtionship. If you don't put the work into keeping up with your friends, then your relationship with them will suffer. It is all about what is important. If your friends are important enough, you will make sure that the bonds you have with them will stay intact. But, if there are not enough reasons to keep those bonds strong, then your friends will become your acquaintances and, eventually, become people you used to know. I guess, what I'm saying is, it's all about priorities. If your friends are important you need to make them feel important so that they want to stay in your life and put the effort in to do so. Family is one of the most important things in the world, but having fun times with your girlfriends is priceless. It should not matter what place you are in or what place your friends are in in life. Being in different places could make things more challenging, but that just makes the relationship more rewarding.
ReplyDeleteSo true! I miss just going out whenever with my girl friends. I have a Beautiful Blogger award for you on my blog. http://adventureswiththreegirls.com
ReplyDeleteI have been there, that is so tough! Your family IS your new circle. I always thought it would be like on tv...you know girl days at a coffee house or something. But who has time? If it wasn't for Facebook I would have no clue what my pals were up to!!!
ReplyDeleteMy dearest Nikki,
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely right. Things change, they change every day and people change and sometimes, they don't. I know that I have told you this before but I will tell you again that as you grow, as you change, as you begin to realize what life is really about YES, in fact you absolutely put things in perspective an indeed, as anonymous wrote above some people, for good reason become someone you just "used to know". As I have grown (I still have a long way to go) I have come to learn that true, genuine, loving friends...the ones you really need and want in your life are only a few special people. Some of these people will ultimately be your sisters, your niece, your mom and that is perfectly fine. Girlfriends are priceless but the girlfriends you hold closest love you through ALL of your weakness. They know you suck at times and they love you no matter how you act, whether you put some effort, all the effort or none of the effort at all. These true friends are selfless, they are compassionate, they love with their whole being and remember that some days, months, years that they will put in all the effort and others you will put in all the effort and that those glorious moments when your lives are both working out just as you feel they should you are both putting in all the effort and the relationship blooms into something even greater yet. These are the relationships that are priceless, these are the friendships you take with you through your life and they are the only ones you will need. You can and may always look back at those who you can say were once friends, then aquaintances and then someone you used to know and be grateful for them then and grateful that they are where they are now. This doesn't make you bad, it doesn't make you less of a person, it doesn't make you anything other than normal. Letting go of friendships is always hard, leaving you feeling a little left out, leaving your heart to miss them and then eventually to leave your heart filled with joy that they were part of your life at all. You will find yourself with those close friends I refer to sharing your every moment...good, bad and ugly and they will be there without expectation, without judgment and with their heart and spirit in the right place. These friends will be with you as you go out for drinks, travel together, stay home and watch the kids play in the dirt, or they will be playing in the dirt with your kids and they will NOT find ways to make you feel badly about who you are, how you act and what you might be doing wrong in their eyes. Glass houses right? It's easier for us to look at others and find their faults then it is to find our own. I am proud of you. I think you are true to yourself. I think you are, who you are and you don't have to apologize for it. You are loved unconditionally by those that will be with you through the years. I'll meet you for a drink any time you want, don't be sad, you can hurt for your losses but remember sometimes it's all in God's plan.
totally with ya on this one. it sucks
ReplyDelete