Bed Time

I haven't written anything for a while because....well frankly I haven't had a whole lot of motivation.  I have had every intention of writing but I just haven't. 
It's been a big couple of days around the Westbrock house.  Mia is finally sleeping in her own room in her own bed.....sorta!  She will be 6 weeks old tomorrow and this last weekend was our first attempt to put her in her crib.  I knew that Mia would do fine....it was more of a mommy issue than anything.  People kept asking if she was in her bassinet in our room and I had to kind of shrug my shoulders and say Not exactly.  Well where did/does she sleep you ask??  Well she pretty much sleeps on mom!!  Again I know what you are thinking but it's really hard to put her down.  What if she stops breathing or someone puts a ladder up outside and tries to get in her room or what if her blanket is covering her face or what if that big noisy fucking owl outside flies into the window and the glass shatters and it gets into her crib or what if all the walls fall down around her and I can't get into the bedroom and well I could go on and on with the what ifs.  I always think the worse!!
We are pushing through the anxieties and continuing to go our separate ways at night.  I will say it's nice to actually sleep on my side instead of flat on my back and it's nice to snuggle a little with my husband (and let me tell you thats all we are doing cuz I don't want to have anything to do with that at the moment!!).  I know the worries will never go away and I'll probably never really sleep all that soundly ever again but when I look at her it's all worth it!!!

P.S.  She is napping on the couch with me right now.  I need to start slow....I can't be jumping into anything to fast!!

One Month

Today Mia, you are one month old.  This past month has been absolutely remarkable.  From the moment you were born my heart feels as if it might explode.  I know people talk about the love that they feel for their children and how you can't explain it until you experience it.  Well, to all those people, you are absolutely correct.  I love you more than I ever thought was possible.  As the great Jerry Maguire said....You complete me!!!
This past month has been a lot of getting to know one another.  I think I'm starting to figure you out pretty good now.  And I hope that you are getting to know us (We are the ones that feed you, burp you, change your poopy diapers, sometimes we actually let you poop on us....well not exactly let.... but shit happens.  You can also refer back to the shit on the curtains incident)!  You love to eat....that would explain the fact that you weigh 10 pounds 6 ounces and are 22 inches long!  You are my little Monster Ass!!!  If we don't get the food in fast enough there is definite hell to pay.  You do have some gas issues (you get that from your dad!!)  I wish so badly that I could make it go away....I try my hardest though.  It's funny too because your dad and I get so excited when you have poopies in your diaper or you give us a good burp.  Oh how things change!!!
You love to snuggle!!  You might be the best snuggler of all time.  It actually sometimes cuts off my air flow because you wedge your head so far under my chin.....I don't mind though.  We've yet to put you in your crib.  I know I will be regreting that in the next couple of weeks when we attempt to do so and you want nothing to do with it since you are used to snuggling with mom and dad.  Again I don't mind....you are only going to be this little once and I'm taking full advantage of it. 
Your starting to smile more and recognize our faces. You have some pretty funny faces that you  make too....along with some pretty pissed off faces!  You turn beat red when your mad and have the most pathetic little cry that almost resembles a chipmunk.   I love the fact that I'm the one that can calm you down.  Because I'm the best mommy ever!!!!
As of now you look exactly like your dad...which is not a bad thing.  I did marry the man and expected to reproduce with him so I made sure that he wasn't all that bad looking!!!  I think though that you got the best parts of both of us.  Except you might unfortunately have your fathers forehead.  That might not be the best of both of us.  We'll just hope that it's not quite as cave manish as what daddy's is. 

I'm so excited to see the little person that you grow to be.  I wish though that you would stay this small forever.  I already feel like you are growing to fast.  I want you to know that I love with all my heart and soul!  You're my little punkers, Moo Moo, Munchkin and Munch!!!  Can't wait to see what this next month brings!!!!

I'm Good!

Apparently I scared a few people after my last post.  I'm Good!!!  I was just venting about my beautiful little child who likes to cry when she is awake!!  I don't want to throw myself off of our deck or anything (it wouldn't do much damage anyway....we are on the first floor of our condo building and I could probably hop over and land on my feet or ass since we all know I'm not the most coordinated person).   We are totally good though....I know it's normal for a lot of babies to go through this and I also know that it will pass.  I admit that it's tough and I do cry but I wouldn't give any of it up for anything.  She might cry when she is awake but when she sleeps she sleeps!!  Justin and I actually get sleep at night.  She usually sleeps for 4 hours at a time.  So I'm very grateful for that.

It's nice to have this blog as an outlet where I can write and journal and be sarcastic about whatever.  It's fun for me to share with everyone because as most of you know I'm very open and probably share too much information sometimes. 

Oh and P.S. Miss Mia is sound asleep in her swing right now!  Love that thing at the moment!!!
Oh and P.S.S.  I don't really think my parents are Ass Holes for wishing a child upon me like me......Well sometimes they are!  But I know I deserve and I'm sure earned it!  I wouldn't change it for the world though!

Really Child....Why are you crying?

I'm perplexed by the idea that one tiny tiny little person who gets fed, burped, changed, rocked, cuddled, bathed, dressed, swayed, kissed, hugged, squeezed (in a very nonviolent, I love you so much and can't get enough of you sort of way), can cry every fucking waking moment of her oh so tough little life!
You can ask my husband.....I had no patience for anything before Mia arrived ( I still have no patience for most things).  For the first week of her life I thought to myself....Hey, I can do this, she is a great baby.  Maybe God is giving me this wonderfully well behaved very quiet little being since I barfed for nine months straight and was convinced because of the barfing that I was going to have a heart attack during childbirth (only because someone at work who obviously did not know me what so ever and my hypochondriac ways told me her daughter had heart problems because she barfed so much during her pregnancies....stupid dumb Ass Hole!).  I was all like, Oh Justin, see I told you I would have patience once she arrived!  
I was clearly wrong....my patience is being tested every day and I feel like a horrible mother because all I want my daughter to do is sleep because when she is sleeping she is not crying for no apparent reason what so ever!   I'm pretty sure though that she is the cutest screaming baby ever! 
Don't get me wrong...I would not give any of this up for anything.  I love her with all of my being and I know that there is supposed to be some kind of life lesson in all of this (which I have yet to figure out or come close to figuring out).  Maybe I should be pissed off at my parents for wishing a child upon me that was exactly like me.  Ass Holes!!!  Or maybe I should put the blame on myself.....No, why would I do that, it's always more fun to blame other people!

"Oh mom, you silly lady, I'm a perfect little angel....HEHE"