Mommy Tip #1

I'm obviously still learning about this whole motherhood thing and I know that I will continue to learn until the day I die.  You would think however that I would learn some lessons sooner rather than later.  Apparently I'm fuckin stupid and those said lessons are not learned yet!!

I go pick Mees up from daycare, we walk out to the car and her new thing is to hide and run around the other side of the car.  So I get her stuff in and go around to the other side of the car to get her.  She looked at me and said "Mama, poop."  Ok....well I didn't smell anything and we were on our way out.  I'll check her when we get home!
We get home.....I go around to get her out and she says "Mama, poop."  Okay.... well maybe I should take into consideration that she is getting better with her words and is understanding things.  So like any self respecting mother would do, I pick her up and shove my nose in butt!  Ahhh yeah.....it smells like a cow shit in a barn, ate that shit, shit again and then maybe rolled around in it just a little bit!  Now you would think that since I just sniffed her ass that would be enough....OHHH NO....I decide it's necessary to peek in her diaper.  Why would I need to do that you ask, I don't really f'in know why because when I did I came away with a mothereffin hand full of shit!  Really right now?  Why couldn't the whole smelling of the butt situation been enough?  Not sure why.  I can't really give you a good answer.  Apparently though, for me, shit on my hands was what needed to happen today!  Yay for me!!!

So Mommy Tip #1:
When your kid says she pooped.....take her word for it!!  And if you smell their butt and it smells....just change the damn diaper.  No need to see what it looks like before hand!

Really Right Now.....

I'll start this by saying that sometimes.....Nikki.....is not so smart!  Yes I said it....you will not hear those words escape my mouth all too often because, well, I usually am SMART!!  I'm pretty sure that Justin is basking in the light of this comment from his USUALLY smart wife! 
I will recap the reason of the above comment:
Mia's little tush has been a little red lately so I decided to leave her diaper off for a little bit because we were going to be giving her a bath in a few anyway.  I mean, if she peed on the floor then she peed on the floor, I have had to deal with worse so whatever!  So....I was putting something away in the bedroom and came back out into the living where little Mees had rolled herself over to the hall table and had her legs wrapped around the leg of it (bare ass).  I look down and there I see it......she SHIT all over!  I was worried about pee....stupid Nikki.....why worry about pee when I know that Mees has a history of shooting shit out her ass with rapid force. 
Ok....so we got the poop cleaned up off the floor (I cleaned the poop and Justin grabbed Mees) and brought her into our room to get her ready for her bath.  I was in HER bedroom getting things and came back into our bedroom where there was another shitty surprise waiting for me on MY bed!  Yep....you guessed it.....she SHIT on OUR bed!!  Are you f'ing kidding me right now??  Ok.....so we get the poop cleaned and Justin ran in her room to get a changing pad (smart guy) to lay under her while we try to get things cleaned and get things ready for her bath (how many dumb ass parents does it take to clean up some poop and give a bath??  Apparently more than 2).  While this is all going on....the cleaning and the getting ready......she f'ing SHIT again.  REALLY RIGHT NOW!  It was at least on the pad......and let me just tell you that she thought all of this was fricken hilarious.....you can go ahead and picture the smiling, blowing bubbles and kicking her legs about (in the SHIT)! 
Mees finally stopped pooping all over the place and we were able to give her a bath without any accidents in the tub.....which WOULD have been better than the bed but seriously, what fun is there in that??  So....I should have learned my lesson but I didn't!!!  At least poop stories are funny....everyone has them!  Hopefully this is the last one for me.....at least this week!!!

Side Note:  This all happened last night.....well this morning she decided to PEE all over mommy and daddy's bed!!  Gotta love that girl!!!